BATTLE DRAFT: Best Hand-to-Hand Fighters in Comics ROUND 5

The purpose of this draft is to identify the best hand-to-hand combatants of the comic book universe. This excludes chemically (Capt America, Deathstroke) or technologically(Midnighter, Deathlok) advanced. It's a 6-round snake draft, which means the order reverses every other round. This took place over the course of a weekend, alcohol was consumed at various points, and a LOT of the chatting between picks didn't make the cut.

View Rounds 1 & 2 HERE
View Round 3 HERE
View Round 4 HERE

Kevin brings the noise with the first pick of the 5th round. This Friday we'll have a poll to vote on whose team YOU thought was best!

Kevin - Team Awesome Pants (Karnak, Black Widow, Dick Grayson, Squirrel Girl)
Emily - Team Throat Punch (Splinter, Mantis, Cassandra Cain, River Tam)
Droo - Team Classy Kick Assy (Iron Fist, Batman, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Kitty Pryde)
Ben - Kraven Some Raven (Kraven the Hunter, Daredevil, Orson Randall, Wildcat)
Grant - Groin Annihilators (Karate Kid, Gamora, Lady Shiva, Taskmaster)



21. Hit Monkey – Hit Monkey (Earth 616)

Who’s more agile than this monkey? NOBODY! He learned all his skills by watching a world class assassin train while his fellow Japanese Macaques blindly took care of his wounds. This was to be his clans undoing and the birth of Hit-Monkey! He goes around the world killing would be assassins before they have a chance to kill their marks.

His bonafides? Well he made quick work of both Spiderman and Deadpool. DP didn’t even get a chance to fling his poo. If his fighting ability doesn’t impress you his hand guns will. Suck it Detective Chimp!

 Just gotta keep him away Black Widow.

(G: HIT MONKEY! Dammit!)

E: Y'all muthafuckas best get ready, because I'm bringing in a professional fucking badass.

22. Eric Brooks - Blade

How have we gotten this far without someone snatching up Marvel's very own Snipe-ized Buffy Summers?  Vampire DNA did all kinds of good things for Blade: enhanced strength, speed, agility, natural fighting instincts and a helpful little healing factor.  

 Oh, and being a master of a dozen or so forms of martial arts, including but not limited to capoeira, jujitsu, ninjutsu, and karate, doesn't hurt, either. 


D: A riddle for you: What's better than 1 Batman?


That's right kiddies, (23.) Terry McGinnis aka Batman Beyond is joining my stable of thoroughbreds.

When you look Terry up, his listed skills are simply hand to hand combat. Sure, he's got the standard cache of Bat themed gadgets, but McGinnis has something few other cowl heads had - Bruce Wayne DNA

"But Droo, why take Terry over Damian Wayne?"

Because what I assume is Grant asking that foolish question, Damian is a whiny little BITCH while Terry McGinnis is dripping with manliness and honor. Clearly the superior heir to the cave and cowl, Terry wasn't thrown into the life of The Batman, crying about destiny and Daddy issues. HE FUCKING DEMANDED IT. He took the suit and after that, he was The Batman...and beyond! Neo-Gotham needed a hero and it got Terry'd. He beat a reborn Joker. He beat future steroids. He beat the people who murdered the man who raised him (because Bruce Wayne doesn't raise children, he just fathers them and warps them into killing machines during puberty). Terry beat a psychotic future clone of Grayson disguised as Hush. So basically, my 5th round pick kicks the shit out of Kevin's 3rd rounder after he gets future upgraded.

Suck it.



24. Frank Castle - the Punisher (Earth 616)

The Punisher. Castle is a war veteran, not just any war veteran but a Navy Seal and Marine. He's a master of martial arts, stealth and guerrilla warfare. He'll break your neck without thinking twice. He's ruthless. 

Sure, he uses weapons, but he'll gladly set them down to break your nose and rearrange your bones. 

Castle has been trained in Nash Ryu Jujutsu, Ninjutsu, Shorin-ryu Karate, Hwa Rang Do, and Chin Na. 

His pain tolerance is the stuff legends are made of. Good luck making him tap out or give up. It ain't happening. 

Punisher is built like a tank and is in complete control of his mind. Good luck using telepathy, psychic or any other bullshit, it ain't happening. 

Who's next? It doesn't matter. 

(D: BEN WAS PREPPED! Nice man. Nice.)
(G: Really solid pick. Could've been a first-rounder...)
(D: I don't think of Frank as a martial artist, but he totally has the pedigree.)
(B: God damn Navy Seal killing machine.)


G: Awww, those picks are absolutely ADORABLE. 

25. Adrian Veidt - Ozymandias (Watchmen) 

 No matter what you may be thinking, the world's smartest man already knew you'd do that. With a strategic mind that borders on omniscience, Adrian Veidt gave away his inherited fortunate to follow the path of his idol, Alexander the Great, and ended up smoking some hash and finding himself. What he found was, again, the World's Smartest man, who used his intellect and cunning to amass a global fortunate, both legal and illegal, and trained his body to absolute peak perfection; has Batman managed to catch a bullet barehanded yet? He hasn't? Oh. How droll. 

Ozymandias stood up against the world' pre-eminent super team and dismantled them effortlessly. He stood toe-to-toe with a god and swayed him to Veidt's way of thinking. And whatever your team may be thinking, he's at least 20 minutes ahead of you.