Analyzing Disney's reported shortlist for young Han Solo

Phil Lord and Chris Miller's reported Han Solo prequel movie is becoming more and more real by the ever-loving minute. 

Yeah, we all know about "Rogue One," but Disney is reportedly not messing around when it comes to shoving our faces full of anything and everything Star Wars. Thanks to the A.V. Club and Disney, we were able to break down the original list of 2,500 hopefuls to a solid group of 12ish. 

An early December report listed the likes of Dave Franco, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Miles Teller, Nick Robinson, Chandler Riggs, Rami Malek, Logan Lerman and Max Thieriot, among others.

The movie isn't supposed to hit the production stages until 2017, but it's never to early to play hot or not. 

The A.V. Club ranked its list by name familiarity, resemblance to Harrison Ford and "overall roguishness."  I'm going to put together my rankings based on basically the same criteria, but with an added emphasis on what I would want a smuggler to look like if we were locked in a hotel room and each full of mamajuana ... if you know what I'm screaming: 

(Writer's note: At 5:45 p.m. and after completing the Jack Reynor entry. Grant Stoye pointed out that none of these dudes has that Harrison nose on them. Therefore, anything I do here is pointless, because that's a good ass point. GET UGLIER, SCOTT EASTWOOD, DAMMIT)

My god, Scott Eastwood just stop. Picture him saying "I know," because that's what convinced me based on looks alone. He's got charming scoundrel in his blood, and dammit, I'm not blown away by this reported list at all, so he's in at No. 1 even though I've only seen like two of his movies.

Eastwood nearly getting jumped by Brad Pitt and Shia LaBeouf on the set of "Fury" is the most real-life Han Solo shit any of these dudes has done. 

Everyone needs a redemption song, especially in the World of Nerdery. What better song for Miles Teller to sing than Han Solo's? He's got the proven chops and could use another shot at being a cunning smartass. Fantastic What?

I'm convinced that Ansel Elgort will appear on every shortlist for a nerdy movie from now until he actually gets one. He does pull off that jacket pretty decently, but he's got the youth, baby face and acting experience that warrants serious consideration. I do feel like I need to place an anonymous tip about a minor in possession of tobacco regarding the above picture, though. 

Holy shit, I don't know if it's me discovering how to post gifs in our blog tool or Dave Franco's face, but I'm in a pretty happy place right now. In all seriousness, A.V. Club -- and everyone else -- has crapped on the idea of the lesser-known Franco brother playing Han Solo. 

To that, I say, for shame. Don't rule him out for who he is, because Franco has proven to be a decent enough comedy star to be considered for a role of this magnitude. He's got the genes and looks to pull this off. Don't sleep on him. 

Still, though, no, Dave. Sorry. 

What the shit. When you look at this photo, do you see a combination of Chris Pratt and Chris Hemsworth. You have my attention, Jack Reynor if that is your real name. All I know about this man is that he won an award for Ireland's Best Film Actor, he's 23-years-old ,and  makes me question my own sexuality because he was clearly created in Disney's Marvel lab. 

I'm a big Aaron Taylor-Johnson fan and could get down on him being seriously considered for this iconic role. Kick-Ass 2 sucked, but the one redeeming quality was Taylor-Johnson. He has this certain likability to him that is unavoidable.

Han Solo is a backstabbing conniving smuggler who fans adore.  You see what I'm getting at yet? This is the type of guy who can play the world's biggest asshole and fans would still like him. 

The jury's out, the list is short and filled with meh, but I tried. If only we could make Harrison Ford 40 years younger.