'Fantastic Four' cleans up on Razzie nominations, which is neat

The Fantastic Four, the movie that essentially took the first family of comics and covered them with shit, is cleaning up on Razzie award nominations. 

(Cheap plug, here's our scathing review of Fantastic Four: Not only is this the worst comic book movie of all time, but this is one of the worst major motion picture events of all time)

For those who don't know about the Razzies, it's the Bizarro Oscars. The worst of the worst from movies to directors to on-screen combos, the Razzies award the people who most wasted our time and money. 

The Fantastic Four is nominated for: 

  • Worst Picture
  • Worst Screenplay
  • Worst Remake/Rip-off or Sequel
  • Worst Screen Combo 
  • Worst Director

Wow. I'm going to go along with the theme of Bizarro -- not to the extent Kevin did that one time -- and guess who wins what at the Razzies. 

Worst Picture is going to have to go to "Pixels." I'm a lover of bad movies; they make me laugh harder than most comedies because I truly enjoy watching hundreds of millions get wasted on creative diarrhea, but, Pixels is one of the only movies I have ever not watched until the end. 

God, I feel for the public relations director and actors/actresses who had to talk that movie up.

Worst Screenplay is going to be the first win of the evening for Fantastic Four. This movie had no flow, no emotion, nearly no action and they neutered a scene every time it started to seem non-life-threatening painful. 

Worst Remake/Rip-off or Sequel easily goes to the Fantastic Four. I don't care how bad Alvin and the Chipmunks or Paul Blart was/is, these are characters beloved by millions and they were done a massive disservice. 

Worst Screen Combo Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson easily. Watching these two pretend to be attracted to each other was painful. Oh, and for the people snickering at me for seeing this movie ... whatever. 

Worst Director GET TRANKED, YEAH. Oh, my god, he lost his own movie millions of dollars by publicly bitching about how cut-up it was before it was released! This is a whole new level of shitty direction. I'm so proud of you, Trank. 

Seriously, this movie was an atrocity to not just comic book fans, but the general public, as well. For the non-comic book readers, Dr. Doom comes off as a garbage villain with no real motive, skills, intelligence, etc. and this is the greatest injustice of all. 

I'd watch Green Lantern, Ghost Rider, Punisher, Spider-Man 3 instead of this any day.

Think about that, GREEN LANTERN on repeat for 24 hours instead of one showing of Fantastic Four. 

Director Josh Trank took to social media and blamed everyone but himself for ruining his "great film," but I'm not buying it. Maybe he had something better, but there was not a great movie hidden under any of this. 

Michael B. Jordan did his best. Miles Teller was given a crap script that never let his character blossom. Kate Mara couldn't even figure out her wig.

There is so much story here that gets brushed under the rug. The Thing's story is and was easily the most emotional and profound, and we only get about three minutes of depth.

So much bad. This was a loogie in the face of adoring comic fans and movie-goers  across the globe.