Rant: Some Blog Runners are ****ing Dingleberries

Today I nearly had a heart attack from sheer euphoria. 

Putzing around on Facebook, as one is wont to do, I stumbled across a post about one of my favorite comic book films of all time - Dredd. This post, which was linked to another preceding it, said that Netflix, the benevolent arbiter of niche tastes, was going to be creating a 13-episode 'Dredd' series (!) with Karl Urban and Olivia Thirlby returning to their posts (!!), Sly Stallone as a Chief Judge (!!!), and Tom Hiddleston as a rogue villain Judge (!!!!). 

HO. LY. SHIT. WHAT COULD BE BETTER? HOW HAS PRAYER EVER BEEN SO SUCCINCTLY ANSWERED BEFORE? TO WHICH DEITY DID I NEED TO SACRIFICE A GOAT? 

Image courtesy of @superhappyrainbowland on Instagram. 

Image courtesy of @superhappyrainbowland on Instagram. 

Well, the joke was on me, everyone I shared it with, and a myriad of folks who shared and believed what turned out to be a shared April Fools Prank from another site. The letdown from this revelation was HARSH; every piece of Dredd-fueled happiness turned bitterly sour, and the fires were stoked further realizing that it wasn't just a non-story, but it was a fucking not-funny-at-all April Fools 'joke.' 

This leads me into my rant: we live in a 24/7-connected world, where any passion can immediately be satiated within moments. Hell, there's news over-saturation  for every topic, and it's because fan bases are so zealous. This is an age of interest. Being as such, there are a legion of pricks out there preying on that passion.

Take the Dredd posts. The original post -- which now says it's obviously an April Fool's post -- is devoid of humor. Seriously. It's not a lick funny, not a touch clever, and is a black hole of wit. It's conjuring up a juicy theory that would be beyond cathartic to a slew of folks who've been hoping and praying for a return to the Dredd cinematic universe. And as a nerd-oriented site, these mouth-breathing fart smugglers should have known better than to throw up tripe like that. 

Image courtesy of 20th Century Fox

Image courtesy of 20th Century Fox

And again - it's not fucking funny! April Fools jokes are supposed to be funny, they're supposed to make everyone involved chuckle heartily, say "April Fool's!", and freeze-frame for the credits! This is an attempt to trick people, and then make them look like  dorks and feel like assholes. 

To the following site that posted it like a new story: Fuck you with running motorcycle. You KNEW that it was a bunk story, and you still wantonly rejiggered it so that a whole new deluge of hopefuls would have their hearts explode. That's a dick move, bro. I can't speak to the amount of unique visitors they garnered with that shit, but the fact that it was even done?

Image courtesy of Warner Bros.

Image courtesy of Warner Bros.

.What this all boils down to is those guys are galactic assholes for even contemplating such a douchey piece, and holy hell people - if you're going to do anything on April Fools Day, make sure it's actually funny. This Dredd thing was about as funny as a brain hemorrhage.