Lady Boners: Deadpool From My View

Now that's a disfigured homocidal maniac I could get behind.  Or on top of.  Whichever position he likes better.

Now that's a disfigured homocidal maniac I could get behind.  Or on top of.  Whichever position he likes better.

So, I was asked to give my unique, feminine perspective on the Deadpool movie.  As the official Double X Chromosome Carrier on the Court, it is my duty to provide some feminist flava to the proceedings because I'm a dainty blossom and love pink, unicorns.

Okay, I do love pink, unicorns, and shoes.

Just as much as I love comics, vulgarity, and gratuitous nudity when it comes to Ryan Reynolds.

AND BOY DID THIS FLICK DELIVER.

I went in with high hopes.  I've loved Deadpool ever since I stumbled across one of his titles as a kid.  As much as people whine about their overexposure, characters like Deadpool and Harley Quinn always appealed to me, with their chaotic nature and stretched-thin grasp on reality.  Also, I really like black and red.  So this was a character that I was excited to see in a film.

Yes, I know he was already in a film before his own movie.  We don't talk about that.

This movie did NOT disappoint, no siree bob (BOB WAS IN IT AHHHHHHHHH).  Violence, comedy, naked Ryan Reynolds and Morena Baccarin, it was everything we could dream of.  And due to Reynolds' sheer love and adoration of the character, we got to see Deadpool, actual, authentic Deadpool, on the screen in what is probably the most accurate film depiction of a comic book character we have seen yet.  The fourth wall breaks, the references, the constant poking at previous films by Marvel and Reynolds, it was all just so perfect I want to cry tears of pervy, violence-loving joy.

Did I mention naked Ryan Reynolds?  Because that happens.  A lot.  And it's glorious, even in his post-mutation avocado-ballsack form.  Ain't no one on the Court that would deny Wade Wilson the dick, I can tell you that much.  Metaphorical dicks included.

Things I want to see in the sequel?  I'm hoping that they're considering keeping Vanessa Carlysle true to the comics and make her a shapeshifter.  They've already done a great job with her; yes, she was technically the damsel in distress, but that bitch doesn't go down without a fight, dammit.  And for that, we salute her.

So, there you have it.  The Delicate Fucking Flower review of Deadpool.  Happy Valentine's Day, poodles, now go check out some sweet Reynolds ass shots.