By now you should know the drill. This started out me thinking about doing a snake draft of comic book weapons with the other Nerds… but we can’t even find a draft we did about animals that we wrote about two years ago… so I’ll do my own. But… “weapons” is a huge category. I mean huge. It could entail a Green Lantern Ring to the Infinity Gauntlet. Narrowing the focus to just “swords” seemed easier. SO DEAL WITH IT. This is my list, my ranking, and if you don’t agree: write your own damn list (Grant).
9. Mjalnar - Leman Russ
Known as the Sword of Balenight, Mjalnar was a great Frost Blade wielded by the Space Wolves Primarch. It is said that Mjalnar's teeth were torn from the maw of the Fenrisian Kraken Gormenjarl. The weapon is also said to be ancient, dating back to the Age of Strife. Mjalnar replaced Krakenmaw, the Frost Blade Russ had lost at the hands of Angron, the Primarch of the World Eaters. In the cold, grim dark of space, this blade makes it even colder.
8. Master Sword - Link
Gregg would never forgive me if I left this sword off the list. It is truly one of the most memorable swords in all of video games, even though it was given to Link by some creepy old guy in a cave. In truth, over the years there have been several Master Swords, each with their own unique traits. It has been called "The Blade of Evil's Bane" and "The Sword of Time and Resurrection," but I like to think of it as "The Sword that Shoots Lasers out of it's Tip when you're at Full Health."
7. Atlantean Sword – Conan the Barbarian
This bastard sword is a thirty seven inch long death bringer. Stolen from an ancient kings tomb, this sword seemed to be designed to be gripped above the hilt… making the hilt somewhat superfluous. The runes that adorn the sword also seem to be superfluous, because according to the Jody Samson, they are meaningless. That said. The sword is awesome because the person that wields it. Conan maybe a misogynist barbarian, but he sure knows how to swing a blade.
6. Buster Sword – Cloud Strife
This might be one of the most iconic swords in all of video games. It’s a six foot long broadsword. It was first Angaels who passed it to Zack who passed it to Cloud. Cloud seems to use it primarily to build fore arm strength because the sword is even heavier than it looks. While the Buster Sword wasn’t the key to Sephiroth’s demise, it does look freaking cool… so shut up.
5. Sword of Athena – Wonder Woman
This sword was forged by the Greek god Hephaestus and given to the object of his desire (ahem) Athena. This sword was given to the Amazon’s where Diana was chosen to wield it’s mighty power. It has been depicted of having many powers, but my favorite being that it can split any object in two. The fact that it could do this was utilized by Superman (during the New 52 era) when he used it to split an atom inside a nuclear reactor… so yah.. it’s pretty bad ass.
4. Witchblade – Sara Pezzini
This blade is actually the soul of an ancient dude. It contains the power of two rival primordial forces of Darkness and Light. The sword will eventually consume it’s user, but that user will get amazing powers. Those powers usually manifest itself in covering the user, usually a buxom female, in stringy strands of metal and a giant blade that can extend from their arm. It’s only one step removed from hentai… but Top Cow manages to make it work.
3. Twinkle and Icing Death – Drizzt Do’Urden
The twin scimitars of the Forgotten Realms greatest ranger. Icing Death was recovered from a White Dragon lair. This blade causes frost damage and gives off a chilling aura. Twinkle was a gift by the Archmage Harpell who said the swords origin came from ancient elven smiths. Later the sword was broken in a pitched battle, but was repaired by Drizzt’s first wife using the power of a Primordial in the legendary forges of Gauntlegrym. The sword became imbued with even greater power. Together, both these scimitars prove a deadly combo for any opponent.
2. Sword of Omens – Lion’O
You knew this sword had to be here. The Sword of Omens was forged as a means to defeat Mumm-Ra by using the “War Stone” which became known as “The Eye of Thundera.” The hilt and clawed holster also contains other stones of power which were taken from Mumm-Ra upon his original defeat by Lion’0’s ancestor. It can cut through most substances, create force fields, project disintegration rays, see through time and space, and can grow to over three times its original length. Plus it can make a signal in the sky… which is something you use to let the neighbors know how much better you are than they are.
1. Excalibur – King Arthur
The Lady of the Lake was more than a watery tart. She offered up the greatest sword ever forged. It is hands down, the greatest sword in all of Nerd lore. How do we know this? Because it beat my number two on the list; the Sword of Omens. Don't believe me? Watch the video below.