Rant for Rant's Sake: Bendis On Iron Man - a Chat by the CoN

 

Quentin Trembley (Droo)

Bleeding Cool with the theory that Infamous Iron Man is being used as a backdoor relaunch for Fantastic Four

 

Mr. Sledge (Kevin)

Sure, why not launch Marvels First Family with a vehicle made from turds.

I want Reed to return and look at Victor in Iron Mans suit and say, "Nope," and have Frankie turn it into a meat suit

Oooh. What if we get slightly older versions of Val and Franklin?

 

Quentin Trembley

That might be cool!

 

Cyborgimus Prime (Grant)

What if we don't let Bendis anywhere near FF!

 

Mr. Sledge

That should be the new industry mantra

Dont let Bendis near

 

Cyborgimus Prime

Ugh, sorry - comic bento sent me the invincible iron man by bendis and it's just so bad

 

Mr. Sledge

soooo bad

 

Quentin Trembley

Oh no

 

Cyborgimus Prime

Okay, I think I figured it out: you know how Bendis takes over popular Marvel IPs and dumbs then down considerably? And hides behind forced humor and incredible art?

He's making 'Transformers' movies.

He wants to appeal to as big an audience as possible without worrying about original source material or longtime fans

That works gray from a business standpoint, and I can understand why Marvel is doing it

*great

It's clearly shit, but Joe Potatoes doesn't care - he wants to laugh and see cool pictures without being forced to think about why things are actually happening

Para examplar:

No way on Gods green Earth do Warren Ellis or Jonathan Hickman not explain WHY or HOW the armor does that

 

Mr. Sledge

nope

move allong

 

Cyborgimus Prime

"Durrr, shape AND color?" Says mr. potatoes, "I hope it's a big yeller Hulkbuster soon!"

"Don't care about where the extra mass or processing systems are stored!"

"Facial hair bros!"

/end rant

 

Mr. Sledge

no... keep going.

I nurishes me

 

Cyborgimus Prime

A whole page, six panels, dedicated to showing Tony waiting for a high five. Jesus Christ in Heaven save us

 Samurairon Man. I shit you not. 

Samurairon Man. I shit you not. 

OH FUCK A PORCUPINE IN HALF

 

Mr. Sledge

youre such a boy

 

Cyborgimus Prime

I don't know if I can finish this. At least Superior Iron Man was remotely interesting

The panel layouts aren't clever, they're fucking dumb and distracting

Tom King wouldn't do this garbage

 

Mr. Sledge

Yes. Yes. Let the hate flow. I just accused Travel Foreman of trying to undermine Marvel from the inside with his bad art.

 

Cyborgimus Prime

 

Mr. Sledge

Just started reading Infamous Ironman #5.... dear god, the first page even

Fuck you Bendis

 

Cyborgimus Prime

You're still reading that? Can't you just cut yourself like a normal masochist?

 

Mr. Sledge

It helps me recognize good when I am surrounded with bad.... or some such nonsense.

Ugh

He wastes page after page with inane conversation that doesn't drive the plot

 

Cyborgimus Prime

EASY ON DA EYEBALLS

**Editor's Note**

While we may absolutely abhor what Mr. Bendis is doing with the Iron Man section of the Marvel Universe (and whoever he just drags into it on a whim), we are not saying he's a bad writer. The man is a seminal voice in the new, better era of comics. He can still come up with a hell of a premise, and when it comes to a single character-driven book he's still one of the best guys around. 

HOWEVER, he's still making a load of shit with the IMU. This is a business, and both he and Marvel are making something that should (theoretically) appeal to a huge audience of longtime readers (theoretically) and a legion of new fans (from the movies). Sales are the bottom line, after all. But just like the aforementioned Transformers movies, all you're getting is cheap jokes and flashy metal fights.