List for List's Sake: DnD Nerds

Does anybody else have a hard time falling asleep at night because they are imagining themselves in a DnD adventure with friends? 

You don't need to answer that, I assume most people don't.

Anyway, this list is allot like the 40K list from earlier, but I decided to a Dungeons & Dragons spin on this list. It is worth repeating, however, that this is how I (Sledge) see things and that if anyone is offended (other than Grant) I didn't really mean it.* 

Droo - Half-Orc, Bard 

I might be cheating a little, because I made Droo an Ork in 40K, but it is remarkable how different DnD Orcs are and yet he still finds himself in a similar situation. But he is a Half-Orc, meaning one of his parents was human, and in the Grim Dark fungus don’t procreate that way. Anyway, Half-Orc Bards are a hoot to have around. They often have a higher intelligence than other races give them credit for, and the Bard will use this to their advantage... playing the fool until they have their audiences purses well in hand. 

Droo, talks for a living which is kinda like a Bard. He is almost always the most entertaining person in the room. He is also usually the largest unless Ben is around, hence the Half-Orc comparison.

Isaac - Kobold, Scale Sorcerer

From Volo’s Guide to Monsters: “Never make the mistake of thinking Kobolds are stupid or backwar just because they are small. Size has nothing to do with it.” Kobolds are the spawn of dragons and therefore inherit some of the draconoid traits. A Scale Sorcerer has a gift for magic that they use to devastating effect. Usually they are the strongest of their tribe, and tend to be looked up to, or resented by, the rest of the tribe.

I just assume Isaac has dragon blood in him. I have yet to be proved wrong.

Emily - Tabaxi, Minstrel

From Volo’s Guide to Monsters: “Curiosity drives most Tabaxi… these Tabaxi work in small troupes, travel in small colorful wagons, moving from settlement to settlement. When they arrive, they set up a small stage in a public square where they sing, play intraments, tell stories, and offer exotic goods for trade. Tabaxi reluctantly accept gold, but they much prefer interesting objects or pieces of lore as payment.”

Emily is a cat person… so a made her a cat-person. She also loves dressing up, making costumes, and telling stories. Seriously, she fits this character down to the fur.

Ben - Goliath, Striker

Tall. Resolute. Stoic. Lonesome. They live in harsh environments which few but the most hardy dare to live. Goliaths have a keen interest in fair play and self-betterment. They are powerful, but have a grace not usually seen in Giants. The have a strong belief in survival of the fittest which drives them to competition. They are prone to risk taking and that often leads to a lack of leadership in their tribe.

I’m gonna be honest. Ben is tall, handsome, and lives in a town few mortals could survive: Detroit. This alone qualifies him for being a Goliath.

Jon - Human, Swashbuckler 

Often as quick with their wit as they are with their rapier, a Swashbuckler is a subclass of rogue who has a penchant for disarming their foes with a smile as often as a flick of their wrist. Often dashingly handsome… or at least use costumes or magic to give that impression… a Swashbuckler is often the focus of any fight. This usually allow his more stealthy compatriots to get away with the goods. It might also allow him to woo the wife of nobleman for personal gain. While I have never seen Jon dance, I’m sure his Mediterranean roots give him the advantage in either arena.

female gnome.jpg

Stacey - Gnome (Rock), Tinkerer 

Gnomes, and particularly Rock Gnomes ( not to be confused with Deep Gnomes), are the inventors of the Forgotten Realms. They often craft the most interesting of weapons often coveted by many other races other than Dwarves, who view Gnomish weapons as to fragile and complex to operated by their own bearded folk. They are quick witted, often mischievous, but hold high regard for wealth and power. Tinkerer’s love going out into the wild to test out their newest inventions before making their way back home to their lab.

Stacey is our tech junkie. She also holds the moniker “Money Bags Miller,” which also seems like a fitting moniker for a Gnome. Finally, she is great at landscape photography, so she must find herself in the wilds at some point, right?

Gregg - Fey, Quickling

Quicklings are small fey that race through the world quicker than the eye can track. Oddly enough, they were a lazy race until a curse was placed upon them because they failed to show up on time to the Gloaming Court. They now move so fast that time as they experience it seems to slow down. They are not evil, but mischievous by nature, often moving things that mortals put down to confuse them for the Quickling's own entertainment. 

Gregg lives on the West Coast, which many mistake for being laid back. Gregg is always moving and living life, because to stop would mean certain boredom.  

Grant - Firbolg, Lore Master

Firbolgs tend to keep to themselves, spurning what other races call “civilization.” Firbolg communities lay off the beaten path, often in wooded glens or adjacent to gently rolling river in the shade of a mountain. Their docile nature shouldn’t be confused with apathy or weakness. They are strong woodsmen and strong of charter too. Sometimes, though it is rare, a Firbolg might find himself at odds with the community and have secret hidden desires like reading or writing. If these passions are ever made known, the risk being cast out.

Grant lives “up nort” where few from the civilized world can follow. He loves to do things with words other than saying them, and I’m certain he will be cast out of his community any day now for his “appetites.”

Sledge - Gelatinous Cube

Gelatinous Cubes, as their name implies, are oozing semi-sentient square sided blobs that are translucent and often filled with the decaying bones of the last adventurer that crossed their path. They are mostly passive, can’t really be called evil, and only can “see” about sixty feet all around themselves.

I think everyone sees that Sledge is just a more well defined Gelatinous Cube.

































*I really do mean it