ON THE LAST BATTLEDRAFT:
Grant gambles on the muscular-yet-fragile body of Kevin “Diesel” Nash, while Ben selects the man we’ve all been waiting for: OWEN HART. This is the last round to fill their stables, so let’s see if the boys can really solidify things with the last picks. Also: prepare to be further impressed by Kevin’s wife (y’know, aside from being able to tolerate braiding his back hair).
5.1: Kevin My last stable pick is a classic:
Richard Henry Blood Sr.
He is better known by his ring name Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat. He is best known for his work with the American Wrestling Association (AWA), Jim Crockett Promotions (JCP), World Championship Wrestling (WCW), and the World Wrestling Federation (WWF).
When it became apparent that Vince McMahon could monetize Ricky’s mixed race heritage, he donned a keikogi and became “The Dragon.”
In JCP and WCW, he was a one-time NWA World Heavyweight Champion, a four-time United States Heavyweight Champion, a four-time World Television Champion, a twelve-time World Tag Team Champion (eight-time under the WCW banner), one-time (though unofficial) under the NWA banner, and three-time under the Mid-Atlantic banner), and a two-time Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Champion. In the WWF/E, Steamboat was a one-time Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion and was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2009.
My stable is a big brother house fire waiting to happen!
Drew: Sorry guys headed to a charity event....FOR YOUR SHIT SQUADS
Grant: How hard is it to type "Gold dust"?
Kevin: "nature boy"
Kevin: Yup pretty hard
5.2: Drew - Straight up, I initially went to take ROB. VAN. DAM.
But winning is really what matters. Not the best wrestler out of Battle Creek. And every stable needs a man with a plan. And God rest his beautiful polka dot soul, my final pick is Dusty Rhodes. The American Dream clocks in at #6 on Sports Illustrated best of all time list!
It's Dusty and no one else.
I'm out to go bask in my own glory.
Kevin: Lisa just got home from New York and I told her about the draft. Her response was "you didn't get Jake the Snake." I'm baffled. We've been married how long?
Drew: Is your wife a closet wrestling fan?!?!?
Kevin: She said, "no, just well rounded."
5.3: Grant - I was ready to respect you, Drewseph. RVD would have been ballsy, a wildcard. But you played out as terribly scripted as modern WWE.
SO, when you're plotting a stable you need at least three things: A powerhouse. A tag team. A heel. I've got the first two taken care of (AND HOW), so why not draft one of the greatest heels of all time...if not THE greatest heel of all time?
A man so brash they gave him his own segment, so magnetic that he feuded with Cyndi Lauper & Mister T in addition to EVERY important wrestler in the 80s, and so theatrical that he starred in the classic horror film They Live.
Accolades? Shit, man, in his career he garnered 34 championships in several different organizations, but in the WWF/E he was an Intercontinental Champion and a Tag Team Champion (alongside Ric Flair, so whatever). Did I mention that he was also a Golden Gloves winner in boxing, and a black belt in Judo?
He was simultaneously loved and hated by millions, and brought a level of intensity to the sport throughout the 80s and 90s. AND he knew how to play the bagpipes and rock a fuggin' kilt.
Kevin: Nice. Surprised he got this far...
5.4: Ben - Who the hell do I pick after taking Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage, Owen Hart and Yokozuna. I'm not just typing, I'm honestly thinking out loud. I wanted to go with RVD but everyone tossed his name around like Drew at my high school's snowcoming dance in 2007. I'm going to channel Kevin's wife here, not like that you sickos, and take Jake the Snake Roberts.
Outside of inventing the DDT, you would be hard-pressed to find anyone out there with a better mastering of ring psychology and the business of professional wrestling itself. When Jake stepped into that ring, he turned into something else. Whether a heel or face, his intense demeanor and tone could be felt through the screen sitting at home. Jake also had one of the most passionate fanbases of all time, so don't sleep on it.
He could snap that DDT out of nowhere, and while he doesn't carry the championship accolades as some of the other guys on this list, Jake is the perfect last active wrestler pick of this draft as the oft-forgotten in 2018 dark horse. Some legendary feuds with Rick Martel, Ricky Steamboat and Rick Rude highlight his run, but this man has been involved in some of the hottest storylines in the history of pro wrestling.
Jake's promos, charisma, technical ability and unpredictability make him a beautiful compounding member of my dream team.
And there it is: the final pick of the stables! Tune in next time as the gang drafts their Manager/Escort, and we’ll put out the ol’ voter! We’ll log the votes, and discuss! Click on any of the previous rounds below, and we’ll see you next time!